Ask a Question
This is the place to post your questions about men. Please remember to disguise the details to protect the privacy of others. We will answer as many questions as possible on this website.
PERMISSIONS: By posting on this website, you are giving us your explicit permission to use this information freely in upcoming publications.
My boyfriend’s roommate has always been sort of quiet, and doesn’t really talk about much other than sports. He has a girlfriend, but neither my boyfriend or I had ever met her because she never comes over. He text messages and calls her, but when he calls her he always leaves the room. We used to joke that she didn’t really exist because we had never seen her, but his emotional changes surrounding times he would talk to her made me know that not only was she real, but that they were having some sort of problem. When I asked my boyfriend one day if he had mentioned anything, he stated that he never talked about it and would get mad if you asked. I felt bad, but dropped the subject because there wasn’t anything I could do.
Recently I was on Facebook Chat and he instant messaged me. We began talking and eventually the topic of his girlfriend was brought up. We ended up talking for a couple of hours about the situation, and he was really open and honest with me. He explained that she had been through a lot recently and that she was not allowed to see him, but that he loved her. She kept breaking up with him, but he would convince her to come back. There is a lot of interesting psychology behind the relationship. Anyway, he continues to have these intense emotional experiences during periods of time when he is upset by her behavior, but he does not know how to express them. He states that he feels really horrible, but that he usually just bottles his feelings up, which I know is very common with guys. I think he is struggling with depression, and I would really like to help him better express his feelings and set boundaries for his relationship so that he might stop repeatedly getting hurt.
What would you suggest as far as his expression of pent up emotions? And is there anything I can do besides being supportive and empathetic?
My husband and I are going through a rough patch, we have only been married for 3 yrs have a 2yr old and a baby on the way (9weeks away). He became very withdrawn some 6-7 weeks ago and has expressed that he is confused about his life and prefered to stay at work than come home, he says he loves me but is not in love with me. We spoke about reasons why this happened and I have done all I can to try and change things. When I feel like things are improving something will happen which takes us back to square one, he is showing no affection and seems to pull away if I try (and I’m only talking touching his hand or a hug), because I’m hormonal I feel its because I’m pregnant? I feel like we are just pretending all the time, I wonder if he fancies someone else at work, as he seems to enjoy going to work, he is away from home for 11 hrs a day. We were suppose to go out this fri night and spend sometime together but he came home from work feeling unwell, we spent the whole weekend not doing much as his throat seemed so sore he could barely talk, but miraculously last night (sun) he got better and went to work as normal this morning, without kissing me goodbye, Now I feel paranoid wondering if things will ever get back to normal, i dont know what to do anymore???