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What if … May 12, 2011

Posted by occhristiancounseling in Dr. Debi Smith, stonewalling.

Here’s a thought: What if there’s a very good reason why men so frequently stonewall?

Stonewalling is perhaps the biggest complaint I hear from women. What’s hard for them to understand is why a man shuts down or withdraws from conversation. They take it personally. They believe he doesn’t care. But, in fact, he shuts down BECAUSE he cares!

What if a man withdraws because he’s protecting his wife and their relationship?

Women make gentle suggestions. Give good advice. Nag. Criticize. Blame. It all sounds the same to him: “There’s something wrong with you!” It’s an attack on his manhood. It emasculates him. And it makes him angry.

So he has two choices: get angry or withdraw. He prefers not to get angry. He loves you. So he shuts down, retreats into his castle, and waits for the storm to pass.

What if women learned better ways to ask for and get what they need from their husbands?


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