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The Boy Code May 25, 2011

Posted by occhristiancounseling in recommended reading, stonewalling.

Real BoysAccording to William Pollack (1998), a boy first learns that he should be a “Sturdy Oak.” Whimpering, crying, complaining, or any sign of weakness is strictly forbidden.

Second, he is encouraged to “Give ‘Em Hell,” which encourages risk-taking behavior characteristic of a macho, invincible, sometimes violent, high-energy superman.

Third, a boy should strive to be the “Big Wheel” by dominating others and refusing to let anyone know that he actually feels like a failure or like life is out of control.

Finally, “No Sissy Stuff” is allowed. This last commandment is what Pollack considers to be “the literal gender straitjacket that prohibits boys from expressing feelings or urges seen (mistakenly) as ‘feminine’—dependence, warmth, empathy” (p. 24).


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