Why Won’t He Talk to Me? May 2, 2016
Posted by occhristiancounseling in classes, Dr. Debi Smith, research, stonewalling, understanding men.Tags: communication, relationships, silent treatment, stonewall
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When something’s wrong, it’s often the woman who notices it and wants to talk about it – to figure out what’s wrong and fix the problem. Here’s a frequent complaint from our Relationship Survey:
We have problems agreeing on the way in which we will deal with problems. I want to deal with them when they come up, and he wants to think about it on his own for a long time and hope the problem goes away before we talk about it.
Does anything about that sound familiar to you?
Have you’ve ever wondered, “Why won’t he talk to me?”
Maybe you’ve tried everything you can think of.
But don’t give up! Learn what to do now!
In new book by Dr. Debi Smith, based on professional research in the Psychology of Men and Romance, you will learn all about …
- Communication Problems – how to avoid them
- Communication Styles – how to understand him
- Communication Strategies – how to get him talking
Coming soon to Amazon.com!
Men & Intimate Communication April 9, 2016
Posted by occhristiancounseling in Dr. Debi Smith, stonewalling, understanding men.Tags: communication, relationships
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A lifetime of experience impacts the way a man communicates. But we women often don’t understand a man’s silence. So the Man Cave feels like stonewalling at best – and abandonment at worst. But the Man Cave isn’t stonewalling at all. Unless a woman tries to force her way though. Then she’s got Double Trouble.
Simply knowing that her man is struggling is not enough, because that only serves to trigger a woman’s natural desire to reach out and encourage him … to get him to talk to her … to try to convince him that she is his Safe Haven.
But a lifetime of experience
has taught him otherwise.
Her efforts to connect will feel like an invasion to him … and/or add to his sense of guilt and shame that he hasn’t got a solution. Both of which will result in an immediate increase in his defensiveness – usually by strengthening his wall.
And being shut out makes her more anxious … worried about him … and about herself. It feels like the Beginning of the End to her, and she often doesn’t understand why.
Do you know why men stonewall?
Believe it or not, the initial purpose of the stonewall has nothing to do with hurting you. That’s not the purpose of the Man Cave either. Most women find it helpful to know the difference.
To answer before listening—
that is folly and shame. (Proverbs 18:13)
Send me your questions and comments now.
And I’ll send you a personal reply!
What challenges are you facing today? January 7, 2016
Posted by occhristiancounseling in Dr. Debi Smith, understanding men, understanding women.add a comment
When things go wrong in your relationships, your finances, or some other area of your life, you may be tempted to look at the problem instead of the possibility. If you want things to turn around, there are 3 things you can do to help get back on the Right Track.
All she needed was a sperm donor June 6, 2015
Posted by occhristiancounseling in Dr. Debi Smith.Tags: commitment, fathers, fear, relationships
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Recently I met a woman at a talk I was giving in Beverly Hills. She told me she was happy and “complete” as a single woman. She said she’d had two relationships that had lasted more than 5 years each. Neither man was interested in marriage. So as a 40-something career woman, she had decided to focus on becoming a mother instead.
The more she talked, the more it became apparent how hard she was working to convince me … and herself … that she didn’t need a man in her life.
All she needed was a sperm donor. [read more]
Don’t Fight Your Lead November 20, 2014
Posted by occhristiancounseling in Dr. Debi Smith, marriage, Stories, understanding men, understanding women.Tags: attachment, classes, relationships
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You know I love to dance, right? Well, our wonderful friends on the Memories Swing Team offered to teach me the Lindy Hop. And I finally took them up on it last Monday. What a blast!
Because I’ve already learned to dance many different styles, I just decided to jump into the Intermediate Class. I figured out the count for my footwork (6 or 8), and just followed my lead.
If he was strong and confident, our dance went smoothly.
When I danced with one of the less experienced dancers, it was a bit more of a challenge. But it gave me a chance to encourage and bless … mostly with smiles and laughter.
How cool is that?
Chatting with one of the Team members later, I related my feelings about my first lesson.
His reply? “You’re a good follow because you aren’t afraid to let go of control. You don’t fight your lead.”
That’s a good idea for all of us. Right ladies? A man is expected to take the lead in life, and he’s held responsible for the outcome.
Men need to let go of control as well.
They need to give control to the Lord and learn to follow Him.
Ladies, let’s not distract our men from the Lord’s leadership by trying to take over the dance. Just smile and enjoy, affirming them when they get it right.
Today’s Thought …
Don’t Fight Your Lead.
It makes warfare much harder on the enemy!
… in order that Satan might not outwit us.
For we are not unaware of his schemes. (2 Corinthians 2:11)
What just happened? November 19, 2014
Posted by occhristiancounseling in Dr. Debi Smith.add a comment
After the chase is over, after he’s won your heart, he changes. And not for the better. He stops paying attention to you. He watches TV all the time or is on the computer. He stays later and later at work.
You miss the conversation, the attention, the romance. In other words, your Prince is more like a frog these days than he is the man you fell in love with.
What went wrong?
Is there anything you can do?
I believe there is a lot you can do! In fact, thousands of couples have figured out the secrets to falling in love all over again … everyday!
What if we’ve been asking the wrong questions?
And what if we haven’t been given the right answers? What there is something you can do about it … something very simple … something that really works? Read this!
Romance in November November 7, 2014
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Did you know you can purchase a Relationship Program online and get $100 off during the month of November?
Make your purchase by Midnight on Monday, November 10,
add Promo Code HAPPYDAY at checkout,
and you’ll get an additional $100 off!
