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Don’t Fight Your Lead November 20, 2014

Posted by occhristiancounseling in Dr. Debi Smith, marriage, Stories, understanding men, understanding women.
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You know I love to dance, right? Well, our wonderful friends on the Memories Swing Team offered to teach me the Lindy Hop. And I finally took them up on it last Monday. What a blast!

Because I’ve already learned to dance many different styles, I just decided to jump into the Intermediate Class. I figured out the count for my footwork (6 or 8), and just followed my lead.

If he was strong and confident, our dance went smoothly.

When I danced with one of the less experienced dancers, it was a bit more of a challenge. But it gave me a chance to encourage and bless … mostly with smiles and laughter.

How cool is that?

Chatting with one of the Team members later, I related my feelings about my first lesson.

His reply? “You’re a good follow because you aren’t afraid to let go of control. You don’t fight your lead.”

That’s a good idea for all of us. Right ladies? A man is expected to take the lead in life, and he’s held responsible for the outcome.

Men need to let go of control as well.
They need to give control to the Lord and learn to follow Him.

Ladies, let’s not distract our men from the Lord’s leadership by trying to take over the dance. Just smile and enjoy, affirming them when they get it right.

Today’s Thought …
Don’t Fight Your Lead.

It makes warfare much harder on the enemy!

… in order that Satan might not outwit us.
For we are not unaware of his schemes. (
2 Corinthians 2:11)

Memories Swing Team

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Research, Faith, & Dance July 11, 2013

Posted by occhristiancounseling in Dr. Curtis Lehmann, Dr. Debi Smith, recommended reading, Stories, understanding men, understanding women.
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Dance With Me: A Book Review
by Dr. Curtis Lehmann

Dr. Debi has a superb ability to write in a way that feels conversational and casual, while weaving together psychological research, her Christian faith, and her love of dance. Dance With Me offers the metaphor of dance for marriage and romance in a way that will invigorate your love for your spouse or perhaps your hope for a loving spouse one day. She uncovers how Scripture is a love story and how God hopes for us to find love in our own lives. Dr. Debi shares her own stories along the way, helping you to connect with her heart that will make you want to be a “hopeful romantic” too!

This book will be a delight for you to read if you have ever wished that your marriage could be as romantic as the movies. But she helps you see that a relationship can be even deeper than the movies if you really learn to love your spouse the way that God intended. I highly recommend this book!

Purchase Now!

Give Your Gal the Perfect Present November 22, 2012

Posted by occhristiancounseling in Dr. Debi Smith, recommended reading, sexuality, Stories, understanding men, understanding women.
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Dr. Debi Smith has studied the Psychology Men and Traditional Masculinity at the graduate and post-doctoral levels, and even taught a university class on this very popular subject.

What she’s learned is that most women don’t have a clue about men’s experience, and that most men don’t know how to explain it. So she’s written this book …

for the Two of You!

Order Now!

Tim Tebow and Living for God January 31, 2012

Posted by occhristiancounseling in Dr. Curtis Lehmann, Stories.
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by Dr. Curtis Lehmann

Unless you have been living in a cave, you have probably heard about Tim Tebow, quarterback for the Denver Broncos. He has been a polarizing figure because of his forthcoming and conspicuous admission of his faith in Jesus Christ. Some have complimented his public displays of faith, while others, even Christians, have insulted and demeaned him for the same reason. Although his season has come to an end, I thought it would be fun to share what I think are some of Tim Tebow’s best attributes.

  1. Tim plays for an Audience of One. He places the approval of God above the approval of others. When criticized for his passing ability, he has remained committed to playing the best that he is capable, rather than becoming either offended or discouraged.
  2. Tim uses his gifts to bring glory to God. He views his football ability as a gift from God that grants him a platform to share about the love of God. His attitude sets him apart from players who attribute their success only to their hard work or special abilities and allows him to be thankful regardless of his success on the field.
  3. He is committed to service. Tebow invites a child with special needs or life-threatening illness to every game and makes them feel special and valued.
  4. Tim invites God into his workspace. Many people leave God at church or home when they head for work, forgetting about faith and “focusing” on their work. Tebow does not separate God from his job as a football player but instead looks for ways that God is present on the football field and where he can serve Him.

Although Tim Tebow can be a controversial figure, I am sure that we can applaud him for these Godly traits and root for him, even if you are not a fan of the Broncos, to have a positive effect on the lives of others.

A Man’s Perspective June 24, 2009

Posted by occhristiancounseling in classes, Dr. Debi Smith, Stories.
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You don’t say much. You don’t know what to say. You wish she’d just let it go, but she never does for long. You told her you were sorry. What more does she want?

Every time she brings up the subject, you go silent … or leave the room. You try your best to stay calm and hope it will just blow over. You take it for as long as you can, but sometimes you lose it and yell back at her.

You hate to say mean things, but it’s the only way you can get her to stop. So you dread coming home from work. You can’t find a way around it. So you spend a lot of time golfing with your buddies … or zoned out in front of the TV or computer.

You feel criticized, attacked, confused, alone.

You used to feel so close to her … safe. You miss that. You’re losing hope of getting it back.

Football and Steak and Shooting Stuff April 20, 2009

Posted by occhristiancounseling in Stories.
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by Tyler

I’m just going to start writing and see what happens.

My name is Tyler, and I am the youngest of three boys. We are each incredibly different and would belong in very few of the boxes that have been made for men to hang out in.

My oldest brother, Andy is a sensitive, careful artist who thrives in conversation and meaning and spends his time reading, playing old video games, listening to good music, and writing. My middle brother, Kevin, is one of the most capable achievers I have ever met. He is incredibly smart, a terrible student, a great learner, businessman, friend, athlete, and brother. Then there’s me. God knows what I am, and probably no one else, but I am slowly learning.

My parents have been married for a really long time and they still love each other. I was born into advantage. My parents have earned the respect of all of us boys. I have the example of a healthy relationship, and more specifically, a healthy male role model.

Needless to say, I have [read more]

Men Are Different April 16, 2009

Posted by occhristiancounseling in Stories.
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by Christen

I guess I knew they were always different! Or did I?

This is probably what really peaked my interest in the psychology of men. I have numerous personal stories in my life experiences that have helped to foster this interest. As far back as I can remember I have always been fascinated by boys. I think I liked a new boy each year as I was growing up! I guess I always thought that boys had the same needs, emotions and thoughts as I did. Come to find out this is not the case at all! [read more]

Men Are a Complex Subject March 18, 2009

Posted by occhristiancounseling in Stories.
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by Nicole

Men are a complex subject, especially because in my opinion there are so many different kinds of men. I recognize this not only because I know that I myself am very different from many of the women I know…I would not appriciate [sic] someone thinking that all women are the same, because we are not. So I realize that men come with unqiue [sic] mindsets and approaches to life. Many men from my childhood such as my father and other family members have put a sweet taste of men in my mouth – reliable, trustworthy, and strong. I have met many men who are truely role models. I have had other interactions with men who have left a bitter taste in my mouth. Men who have … [read more]