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Football and Steak and Shooting Stuff

by Tyler

I’m just going to start writing and see what happens.

My name is Tyler, and I am the youngest of three boys. We are each incredibly different and would belong in very few of the boxes that have been made for men to hang out in.

My oldest brother, Andy is a sensitive, careful artist who thrives in conversation and meaning and spends his time reading, playing old video games, listening to good music, and writing. My middle brother, Kevin, is one of the most capable achievers I have ever met. He is incredibly smart, a terrible student, a great learner, businessman, friend, athlete, and brother. Then there’s me. God knows what I am, and probably no one else, but I am slowly learning.

My parents have been married for a really long time and they still love each other. I was born into advantage. My parents have earned the respect of all of us boys. I have the example of a healthy relationship, and more specifically, a healthy male role model.

Needless to say, I have had a lot of experience with boys and men. I am intrigued by our differences and similarities. I love that little boys want to wrestle with me. I love that men want to teach me. I love that we tend to desire simplicity. I love that we are all basically trying to figure ‘it’ out. Sometimes we try to figure it out on our own for a little too long, but we are still basically trying.

I do think that there are those things which define our roles as “male” because of what everyone else tells us “male” is, or should be, or shouldn’t, or isn’t…

But I also think that there are systems and tendencies and roles that generally come naturally to the developing male mind. There are some things that just seem like ’such a guy thing’. Sometimes that’s really cool. Unifying would be a better word I suppose. Some times it’s crippling. I don’t have to say a word, but I can often come into a primarily female conversation and by association inherit all things ‘male’, good or bad. I can handle most of it. I mean obviously I wasn’t the one who cheated on them, or lied to them, or checked out some other girl in front of them, or didn’t notice that they cut their bangs, or whatever it was that some guy was supposed to have done or not done, but it is interesting how I can inherit such responsibilities by association…

So instead of defending myself, here’s to a life of embracing stereotypes and learning from them. To redefinition and example. To the witness of surprise and frustration at the exposure to a guy who is trying to maintain some sort of emotional capacity and to practice awareness. Here’s to me basically trying. Here’s to football, steak, and shooting stuff.


1. Football and Steak and Shooting Stuff « The Psychology of Men - April 20, 2009

[…] Needless to say, I have [read more] […]

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